Nobody takes shame to an art form like gay men. What I noticed most in 2019 was how gay men around me dealt so differently with the question of “what am I doing to help all of this?” For some folks, the magnitude of hopelessness and shame can leave us feeling stupid for trying to do small things, like decreasing single-use plastics. Or, we internalize it and lash out at others trying to do their part (I saw this most during our brief flirtation boycotting Equinox and SoulCycle).
The thing about shame is that it’s really just fear. Nobody takes shame to an art form like gay men and nobody makes dumber decisions than people who are afraid. So this year’s resolutions focus on small ways that we can self-care and ease a bit of that daily stress.
1. Read The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World by Alan Downs.
Back in 2005, I was driving past a small town in New Mexico—really more of just a truck stop at the intersection of two highways—when my cell phone rang. I answered the call and all I heard before losing the signal as the road descended down from the somewhat dry and baron mesa was “This is Harpo Studios calling”.
